Persuasive Dissuation
by islandkarma531
Summary: Shapeshifter Devyn Kaarme knows she threw away the one chance of true love she had. When her former love and her see each other again, will it be a second chance for Devyn? Or an oppotunity for further heartbreak?
1. The End

PROLOUGE:

All was quiet outside. Not a whisper, not a sound. But…inside…I was dying inside.

I walked though the gardens feeling hopeless. What was there left to live for? He was gone…and I needed to stop fooling myself. He wasn't coming back.

At those thoughts unimaginable pain spread through me. I collapsed to the ground, one arm on the nearest tree. I could not live in a world where he did not exist. It was as simple as that.

But I was going to have to. Death was not an option for me.

I am Devyn Kaarme, of the Kaarme House, the next most powerful house of shapeshifters in the Nightworld after the House of Drache. I am the next heir. Therefore, whether I like it or not, my life preservation will always be number one priority.

Even against my will.

Perhaps I should have started from the beginning. How did I reach this state? Crying, alone, lost, and ready to die?

It was because of him.

I was not always this way…once I had everything. Family, love, happiness.

Here is my story. Judge if you will, but ye who judge shall be judged themselves. Take pity on the Devyn Kaarme: the girl who lost it all.


	2. One

**Disclaimer: i dont own the Night World, only the ever so gifted L.J. Smith does. **

**but i do own my own characters and ideas...just throwing that out there**

_**CHAPTER ONE:**_

I was born into the House of Kaarme; the second most influential house in the shapeshifter world of Nightworld.

If Galen of the Drache House, next in line to rule the shapeshifters, were to die, and if his younger siblings were to perish as well, my family would take control. We rule the Kaarme House. Those in Kaarme are known for slyness and evil. Kaarme is Finnish for "snake."

Yes, I shapeshift into a snake.

A huge twenty foot long, poisonous snake. Needless to say, most are wary around us. I don't blame them.

My father was a powerful grasping man. He wants to rule the shifters. Even though due to our rank we are the king's most trusted advisors and have a spot on the Night World Council, that was never enough for him. Needless to say when the King, Galen's father, found out, he was swiftly and promptly executed.

My mother had been a lovely woman, or so I heard. She died giving birth to my younger sister and I, only being two at the time, can barely remember her.

I have an older sister, Abelinda and one younger, Malaika. Abelinda is the beautiful one. She had countless suitors despite her bitchy attitude. She turned down her own soulmate for Hector, a foolish lamia vampire. It's sad really, Tristan, her soulmate, still follows her around, lost and confused. She sometimes has affairs with him on the side, much to Hector's dissatisfaction, but neither is brave enough to stop her.

Once Abelinda ran off with Hector, she was removed from the Kaarme House. We didn't need a leader with any ties or influence from vampires. They already have too much power as it is.

And so, responsibility fell to me. I am eighteen years old; once I am twenty-one I take complete control and am bound to duty.

Forever.

Malaika found her soulmate this past summer. I worry for her… Kelab seems like a lovely boy, it's just that she's so young…sixteen and already about to be married…

But then I was sixteen and in love once too.

I stood up from the ground, using the tree to pull myself up. I had to be stronger than this. For my people. I was lucky that my failed suicide attempt had not been heard of be the masses. They would demand that I transfer rights as the heir to Malaika, and I couldn't do that.

She was too innocent. I was hard and cold. I did what had to be done. Whatever was necessary. Those long months of despair had crippled me, and I sought a way out. I tried to stab myself in the heart but I missed. Next thing I knew, I was waking up from a two month coma and I now I have at least one or two guards monitoring me always.

What happened that had made me so hard and cold? That had sapped me of my desire to live?

I gave up the only important thing in the world. My soulmate. My Landon.

I slowly walked back into our mansion. I walked like a corpse, and perhaps I looked like one now. My green eyes lacked expression, my red hair no longer held the luster it once had. I was thinner then normal.

I collapsed on my bed and let my mid wander to happier times….

I met Landon when I was sixteen. I was happy, I was healthy. My sister Abelinda had just run off with Hector and inside I was rejoicing. I always knew she was unsuited for the role and duties as leader of the house. Duty always came first. Before life, happiness…

Before love. I never questioned that.

I was stately, proper and proud. I dressed in accordance with my station. I was a princess of the shapeshifters, and heiress in the Night World… I knew I was special and thrived on it. I was such a foolish child at sixteen.

Landon was special too. His mother was a lost witch that mated with a shapeshifter. Technically, because she was part of the Night World, even unknowingly, that didn't break any of the laws. Landon's father and mother were lucky.

Landon received some witch powers from his mother, and still had the ability to shift. He was from a pretty prestigious house himself: the African Lion. He was visiting our mansion was scheduled to live with us for five years. Our respective houses were always very close and allies in times of war. We remained on friendly terms in order to keep the alliance alive.

Our houses had even intermarried, but that had not happened in over 9,000 years, and it was not about to start now. The House of Kaarme had higher hopes than that, and I knew that I, as the heir, was expected to marry Galen Drache in order to increase our standing. Of course, he was already betrothed to the Witch Child, but she had yet to appear, and scheming houses such as ours could only hope she never would.

The first time I laid eyes on Landon was as he was entering the house. My uncle Frederick, who is acting as the leader of all snake shifters until I reach my 21st birthday was greeting him. I had been curious to see this lion boy. Usually boys from the cat houses were uncommonly attractive.

I think my heart actually stopped. No words could do that boy justice. His hair was wild and curled just like the lion's mane. His eyes were a steely greenish grey. His sculpted face had a fine layer of stubble. He was a year older than I, only seventeen, and already the most gorgeous man I had ever laid eyes on.

I slowly went down the stairs, and he looked up at me. Our eyes connected for a moment and my uncle finally noticed and introduced us.

Landon grabbed my hand and kissed it. His eyes widened, and to this day I know we both felt the sparks.

Too bad both of us were too young and too naïve at the time to know what it meant.

Still, we were deeply attracted to one another. He was smart, kind…perfect. Not to mention his nice body. Plus, we could understand each other. He too was a middle child, although his older brother was choosing to actually be responsible and take control of his house.

We were the same. Our opinions, outlook on life, likes and dislikes…it was like we had been destined for one another. I laughed bitterly. Neither of us knew we were soulmates. The soulmate principle was so uncommon that we never had heard of it.

We thought falling into each other's minds was normal for people in love. Because that's what we were. Madly and completely in love with each other. I wanted no one else but him, and would die for him if I had to. Perhaps it was odd that a girl who turned into a snake would fall in love with a boy who turned into a lion, and vice versa, but it was no concern to us.

I opened my eyes. I was such a fool for letting that go. Wild sobs went through my body to the point where I couldn't breathe. The door burst open and guards rushed in. They were on high alert. They didn't want another suicide attempt.

"I'm fine," I gasped. "Go…"

With obvious reluctance they left the room.

I lay back down on my bed and closed my eyes once more. This was the hardest part to remember, but the best moment of my life that I never wanted to forget. Even though I knew what pain it would bring me, I closed my eyes and went back down memory lane…

_**FLASHBACK:**_

Landon was grinning nervously. Had it really only been six months that this gorgeous boy had entered my life? I was the happiest I had ever been.

His head was on my lap and I was absent mindedly stroking his hair…I loved it. I could do it all day I f I wanted to. Landon closed his eyes and smiled. I grinned. He loved it when I stroked his hair too. Must be the cat in him.

After a few moments of silence, Landon opened his eyes. They were so warm…so full of love. He sat up and took both my hands in his.

"Devyn?" he asked with that same beautiful smile on his face.

I smiled a half smile. "Mmm?"

"You know I love you…right?" he asked a little bit hesitantly.

I let out a laugh. Of course I knew that. I leaned forward and kissed him. "Yes," I laughed, "and you know that I love you too, you silly boy."

He looked down and started playing with my fingers, his long lashes brushing against his face.

"Devyn…you know I have to leave in a month right?" Now he sounded very nervous. Something was up. I didn't like the sound of this.

Landon looked up and saw me nod. I knew he had to leave at the end of this month. It was only for a few weeks. Then he would some back again and finish the four years he had left of his visit. He had too.

Landon pulled me into a tight hug. "I really don't want to go…not without you."

I held him tighter, trying to hold back my tears. "I don't want you to leave either. But you'll be back…right?"

Landon pulled back and looked me in the eyes. He reached forward, and brushed away the single tear that had escaped with his thumb. "This will be the last time I leave you Devyn. I will come back, and then I'm never going to go anywhere else. Not without you."

I was frozen. What was happening? Did what I think was about to happen going to happen.

Landon smirked a mischievous grin at me and pulled me up. He raised his eyebrows out me and went down on one knee…oh god…

"Devyn Kaarme," he said, his eyes wild and dancing, but his tone so serious, "I know you are only sixteen, and I'm only seventeen, but there is not a doubt in my mind that we love each other and belong together. I don't want you for a fling, a random hook up, or even a girlfriend. I want you for eternity, to be mine and only mine for the infinite years ahead. I want to be yours. Devyn…will you marry me?"

I was crying so hard now. I nodded and croaked out an almost silent "Yes," but he hears me. He rose to his feet, and I had never seen anybody so happy. He lifted me off the ground and we kissed for what felt like forever.

Landon was mine, and I was his and nothing could ever get between us.

_**END OF FLASHBACK:**_

I pulled a pillow over my head to muffle my screams. It had only been two years ago…to the day. Had I known what I knew now, I would never have let that go. I was a fool.

I don't know why I tortured myself like this. Why did I keep on remembering when it would be better to forget? But I could never forget him. A silver string connects us to this day, and I know that he hates me still. He is miserable and it's my entire fault.

What happened next? After a few more blissful, amazing days, Landon left. He had to, but he would come back soon.

I had been bursting with happiness. Bouncing off the walls with it. He was going to convey his intentions to his family. They would approve, there was no reason for them not to. Landon's father and mother had risked everything to be together, even the wrath of the Night World. They would want their children to do the same. I was powerful in the Night World community and the shifter world, as well as Landon's choice.

I thought that there would be no problems with out match. If his parents approved, which they did, we would have to barriers.

How wrong I was.

I am the almost leader of the House of Kaarme, I foolishly thought at the time, no one would dispute me or my decisions.

I told my uncle Frederick of Landon's proposal. He did not take it well.

Uncle Frederick reprimanded me sharply. I was a stupid girl who was ruining everything with my airheaded decisions. I owed my loyalty and duties to the Kaarme House. A marriage for alliance was the only type of marriage that would be allowed for me. We already had an alliance towards Landon's house, so I didn't need to marry him to achieve that.

All my dreams were shattered that day. I told my uncle the marriage was for love, but that made the problem worse. I was not made for love; my position would not allow that. Only common people could experience that. The Apocalypse was coming, and we needed more powerful allies were we to come on top.

If I turned by back on duty, the House of Kaarme would turn its back on me. I would be exiled, and alone.

I was sixteen and terrified. These things seemed dark and bleak. My whole life I had been lectured about duty and the price leaders must pay for their people. I was personally responsible for all snake shifters.

And yet I was still willing to give that all up for Landon. I loved him that much.

I think Uncle Frederick saw that steely resolve in my eye. He then told me the one thing that preyed about any doubt in my heart. He told me that Landon was only pretending to love me for my position and the benefits it would bring his house.

I was a fool to believe him, but remember I was only sixteen.

There were obvious truths that made it seem true at the time. Was it not so that Landon's house was not as prominent as my own? Was it not true that he showed interest in me the instant he saw me and knew I was the heir? Was it not true he left me right after receiving my word to be his wife? Was it not true that he told me he would do anything for the success of his house?

Sadly I was forced to admit all were true.

Landon came back filled with joy. He face was innocent, carefree, and happy. I destroyed that all forever on the day that I broke his heart.

_**FLASHBACK:**_

I sat in my room trembling with fright. Landon had been back two days now, but I had been avoiding him. I loved him so much…and it killed me knowing what I must do. There was a knock on my door. It could only be one person

My maid entered and handed me a note.

I opened it and read:

_Dear Devyn, Meet me outside in our special place. You've been avoiding me, and this ends now. Whatever it is, we need to fix this. I love you so much. Hurry, I'm waiting for you. Love, Landon_.

I put that note in a special place, hidden away. I would treasure it always.

With a heavy heart, I stood up and trudged forward, ready to destroy and happiness I would ever have.

I walked out to the place in the gardens by the tall oak tree. Where Landon had proposed to me. His back was turned to me. At my approach, he turned around. All the worry drained out of his face as he rushed towards me, embracing me. He kissed me, but I pulled away.

His brown furrowed. "Devyn…what's wrong? Why have you been ignoring me? You needn't worry," here his old grin came back, "my parents approved, just like I told you they would."

I smiled a tight smile and stepped out of his embrace. Landon frowned, very upset. "Dammit Devyn! What is going on! Talk to me!"

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. "I regret to inform you that after careful consideration, I must dissolve our engagement. I am sorry for any personal pain this may have caused…" I opened my eyes to a snapping sound. Landon broken off one of the strong limbs on the tree.

He looked at me with a face set in stone. But his eyes…they were filled with a deep pain, and a wild fear. I had never seen eyes like those and it still haunts me to this day.

He took a step towards me. "Why are you doing this Dev? Why?" his face became so broken hearted that I longed to say the words that would make this better. But I stopped myself. I had to do this for the good of my people, and to save myself from him.

"I think you care about me…to some extent. But this is only a passing fancy. I will not allow you to use me for the advantage of your house, Landon. I deserve better than that. My people deserve better that that. Both they and I deserve better than you." My strong steely eyes buckled on his. I had to be strong.

I saw disbelief and anger cross his features. "Is this really what you think Miss Kaarme? That I don't love you! I care about you more than anything in the word!" as he spoke his voice gradually got louder and louder. "I would give up everything for you! My house, my family, my life! Is that what you want! GOD DAMMIT ANSWER ME!" Landon's whole face was twisted in rage and pain.

I took an involuntary step back and raised both my hands in defense. "Landon, I know you love me," and I did, I saw that now. My uncle was wrong; he wasn't using me in any way. "But I have to think about the future of Kaarme House. I have my duties and…"

I was cut off by a roar.

"Oh I see how it really is Devyn Kaarme!" his face was twisted into a sneer, "I see what's really going on! I'm not goon enough for you am I?"

I couldn't answer. Because that was the truth.

Landon threw his head back and laughed a bitter laugh. "I never was, was I? This whole thing was probably a huge game for you…a joke. I bet you never really loved me at all!"

I gasped. "Oh no Landon! That isn't it at all!"

"Then just cut through this crap and tell me the truth for once!" His face and voice was filled with so much pain, that I finally did just that.

"I love you Landon, okay?" I screamed. "I love you so much I can barely breathe and it's killing me to do this! YOU'RE family may have approved, but MINE didn't!" I was gasping wildly with tears in my eyes. "MINE didn't. If I marry you, I'm disowned. Who would rule Kaarme House? Abelinda can't, she ran off with that vampire! Malaika can't, you know she's not strong enough. And I can't handle leaving this life! I'm sorry I'm not strong as you; not as brave as you, but I can't abandon my house, not even for you!" I finished with a gasp.

I looked up at him. Landon's face was ice cold and calm. "I see…" his voice was even colder than his face. "You obviously don't love me enough then." He turned and started to walk away.

I ran after him. "No that's not it…"

Landon turned around and stopped. "Yes it is Devyn…don't you see? Kaarme House does not need you. Malaika would not be a good leader, but you have cousins who could complete the job. Your uncle can't disown you, only a true ruler can and the next one in line is you. I would risk everything to be with you. You won't give up a few modern comforts and power to be with me. I obviously don't mean much to you."

Tears welled up. "I'm so sorry Landon. You mean the world to me. Stay with me. We can figure something out…we don't have to get married to be together."

Landon shook his head and a part of me died. "You think I want to stick around and watch you get married off to some idiot who will never love and appreciate you like I do? I love you Devyn, and going through that would kill me."

I sighed, dying inside. "So where does that leave us?"

Landon laughed once without humor. "I don't know. You said I wasn't good enough for you, and maybe your right."

Tears welled up in my eyes and spilled over. What had I done? "Please Landon…"

"What would you have me do? I'll always love you Devyn, but your right…I don't see this working anymore. I want to be with someone who is my equal and believes I'm there's too. I don't want to be inferior all my life." Landon gave me a small half smile. "I'd like to stay friends, Devyn. Hopefully one day, you'll meet a man you is finally good enough for you."

He turned and walked away. Before he left the gardens he looked back and said one last thing, "And when you meet that man…I hope he breaks your heart."

_**END OF FLASHBACK:**_

I finally stopped crying. Two years had gone by and I realized how stupid I had been. Landon left right after that night. He didn't want to stick around for the next four years and I didn't blame him.

Later when I was seventeen, I found out about the soulmate principle. It was far more common now and I fully realized what I had given up. My one chance of happiness.

Now at eighteen, I was more alone than ever. My uncle had died, and with him all opposition to a marriage of my choice. But the only man I had ever wanted didn't want me. I could feel it through the soulmate link…stretched so thin. Sometimes in my dreams I could hear his thoughts. He loved me in a way. But he wanted to move on. Not all soulmates stayed together. It was very common for many soulmates to separate. Landon hated me for not choosing him.

And I didn't blame him. I hated myself for not choosing him.

Everything was going to get a lot worse, very soon. I was being sent to the Karhu House. The word "karhu" meant "bear" in Finnish. All young royalty of the houses were going to live there for the next year. It was how we kept peace.

That meant I was going to see my soulmate again after two years, for the next year of my life.

How was I going to survive this one?

_**END OF CHAPTER ONE**_

**hey! there are links to pictures of landon and devyn on my profile, if anybody is interested. thanks!**

**please leave a review. i know where i want htis story to go, but its really hard for me to write up to that point, so any helpful advice, or encouragement would help alot.**

**like it, hate it? please let me know :)**

**islandkarma531**


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